The type of coaching I do is called Breakthrough Coaching. The reason that I love it so much is that it does not EVER offer advice. It is not counselling or therapy either. So, what is it, you might be saying?
It is curiosity and exploration. That’s it!
Often, the breakthrough happens right at the end, just as I’m about to leave. Often the person I am coaching secretly knows what needs to happen but just hasn’t admitted it yet. Often, they know how they are affecting others, and yet don’t know how to change.
How can you, if you’ve only got your own set of ‘stuff’ you grew up with, had role modelled for you. Different people who have influenced you along the way, and lived experiences that only you have lived and thrived or survived through. Even shared experiences in life with others are experienced in different ways.
There IS no right or wrong, good or bad in communication. There only IS. What?!
ALL communication can only ever be perception. So, who am I to give anyone advice, even in a subject I am qualified and familiar with? I will still always put things into context in a way that I have experienced. Morals, ethics and beliefs that I have attracted along my journey – which is personal to me.
What breakthrough coaching does brilliantly is shine light on your perceptions. If you are lucky, it goes one step further, and raises your awareness around what that looks, sounds, and feels like for others you encounter.
Have I seen patterns and trends throughout the years (over 12 years) that I’ve been doing this? Yes. Of course!
If you’re interested – here they are:
- People (in general) seem to want to be right, rather than be happy. Why is it so inconceivable that someone else has a better solution or way of doing things? This desire to be right seems to exacerbate if you are the parent, partner, or boss of someone. Have you ever tried the other way? Listened right until the end before dismissing something? Have you actually ever given someone the chance to try something you believe that only you can do right? What’s your worst fear? That they do it better than you? Great. How wonderful.
- People like the sound of their own voice. The incessant need to be seen to be a certain way, stops us from really listening and instead has us concentrating on what we are going to say next, or how we are going to bring the conversation around to us. The ego is SO great at this. Spectacular, even. It always wants us to look good and pitch for ourselves. What if we just listened? Who knows what we’d find out?
- People truly believe that they know what is happening inside another human’s head. This is impossible! No matter how connected you are, how long you have known each other. Unless you check, and even then, only if that person feels comfortable in telling you their real truth. You may never know. And yet, we make assumptions about what our partner is feeling, our kids, our employees, friends and colleagues. This clouds our judgement, how we treat people, how we feel about them. Don’t ever assume you know without checking. This could be the foundation of everything you wish were different.
Ready to check your ego at the door and work on yourself?
I work on a 1-1 basis with people, to breakthrough what your communication style is and what happens after you know? Ready to Breakthrough. Reach out to me.
Contact me for a free, 15-20 minute discovery call or Zoom. 027 668 0067. No hard sell. No obligation. The fee won’t break the bank, and payment plans are available
I’m Stephanie Holloway – the only ANZCAL accredited Master Breakthrough Coach in the whole of South Island, and one of only four in the country.
