Ecology in communication revolves around several concepts: But always begins with – You reap what you sow!
Communication starts and ends with you. Look to YOURSELF first – you are really the only person you can influence fully.
You create your own reality with every thought and action in communication
Many communication habits arrive through pre-conditioning from your childhood and role models, from your current environment (to thrive and survive) and from individual people.
Think about what your everyday language and body language is like? What do you create and send out to others – are you patient, considerate? Do you aim to see both sides? What are the ripple effects (ecology) of what happens because of you?
Or do you run on assumption without checking the reality, through your perception only, and let your ego get the better of you?
Are you guilty of Twiddly bits? The unnecessary or extra bits of communication that detract, make worse, change the context, intentionally harm?
What can help you be better at communication? Elemental Potential created the world’s first practical model for compassionate assertiveness in 2012 – Compassionate assertiveness in action.™ It was designed to make people accountable for undesirable behaviour, let them know how you feel, give a consequence if needed and give people choices about whether they should let it go or not.
Compassionately assertive people look for the win-win. If they see it, they say it. They operate in a low and slow tone. They seek first to understand and then to be understood. They genuinely believe that they are helping people to be better communicators and more compassionate people.
When you understand your own and others emotional triggers or pings you begin to understand the ecology of why things end up like they do. Everything in communication is connected, inter-linked. Cause and effect.
Whatever you invite in you accept. Whatever you accept becomes the new normal. Whatever becomes the new normal you have to live with! Ask yourself what you are living with that you don’t like in your communication? When did it start? Who started it? Don’t be a ‘kitten feeder’ – the person who enables less than desirable communication and behaviour.
Life could be so simple.
The world. Your world, could be so peaceful.
We are at a pivotal point in history, just as we have been many times before.
The persecution of entire nations and religious faiths. They all started small – with one weird action, or sentence, an over the top statement that people around them didn’t agree with – but they did nothing – they enabled it!
These men and women didn’t do what they did because they were powerful. They did what they did because they were enabled to. No one questioned them or stopped them.
Imagine a different outcome if enough people around them had used compassionate assertiveness and asked a question like “How is that reasonable?” “Can you see how crazy that sounds?” “What do you see the effect being on the people you are doing this to? In the long-term future of a nation, a religion, humanity?” Could these horrific things have happened in history then?
ALL it takes ultimately is ONE person. The FIRST person to hear it or see it. The FIRST moment it happens, was said, was done.
When YOU step up and do something, step out of the passive, step away from the “Why should I?” and into the “How can I not?”, then you step into the part you play in humanity.
Want to learn more about compassionate assertiveness? Here’s the book link – just $13.