Here are my thoughts about it, from what I have gleaned along my life journey and in my work.
Your ego diminishes every time you become aware of it – for good or bad reasons.
Your ego is your biggest battle in life – justification, validation, being right, being heard, engaging when you don’t need to, moralisation, judgement, reacting in anger, impatience.
These are all just a shortcut that your brain chooses to use rather than see someone else’s point of view. This shortcut makes you run on A.P.E. (assumption, perception, ego). Otherwise known as the three killers of communication.
Ego wants to control everything in your life, every word, every deed, every action –what it cannot control is other people! So all you can do is focus on you, and how you respond and react to others.
Here are some tips to keep your ego in check:
- Let things go when you can. You don’t HAVE to react to everything, have a say about everything. Use your energy wisely. Have patience.
- Be honest with yourself, see your part in things and how they unfold. Be honest with others in the most compassionate way you can.
- Surrender the need to be right, or in control.
- Be still. Enjoy peaceful moments with yourself. Embrace the downtime.
- Give without any expectation, praise or recognition required – anything else is martyrdom, conditional love, or ego.
- Be grateful for the big and small things. Show appreciation to people you interact with along your day.
- Choose kindness and love – anything else is fear, illusion or ego.
- Don’t complain – it’s self-sabotaging and brings the vibrational energy down of yourself and anyone who has to listen to you.
- If you find yourself in a hole – stop digging! The wounded ego is the worst type and will always be destructive. Know when to apologise, stop – admit you were wrong with grace.
- Hatred and vendettas are like an unhealed sore, like acid eating away at your being. It always damages you first, and more.
- Pursue brilliance and mastery at your craft – and then, stay humble about it without hype or vanity. Make it about the work and how you help people….not you!
- Tibetan Buddhists have a term ‘Spiritual Warrier’. One who combats the universal enemy self-ignorance – which is the ultimate source of suffering! Work on you and being a better person.
- Seek first to understand and then to be understood. Not everything is about you!
When you strip away everything holding you back, you’ll surprise yourself. Most of the time you are living in an illusion run by your ego. You can set yourself free so that you have: more loving relationships, joyful fulfilling work, less resistance to things people say and do to you.
If you consciously looked for how many times a day when you could honestly say that was your ego talking you would be mortified. Try it – just one day thinking about these 13 things, and see what you find out about yourself.
I’ll be cheering you on. Put the ego in its box, nail down the lid, and then……bury the box.