EVOLVE’19 – online ‘tour’ CONTENT!


Published: 28 Aug 2018

Communication News and messages from Steph

In 2017 I did 52 events and 83,000 km.

In 2016 I did 82 events and 111,000 km.

And…I still couldn’t reach everyone in every town with the right class at the right time.

So here is the line up for EVOLVE’19.

EVOLVE’19 is a year-long ONLINE journey into thinking and learning about the communication you use, and the communication you invite in. I hope you enjoy the monthly sessions I’ve planned through until September 2019  and will complete the year with whatever serves the membership – by listening to you all.

Throughout the year you will develop your skills, have me as your personal coach through Speakpipe,  and be able to join in the member community discussions if you choose to.

Click here to find out how you can save $200 by signing up this year:



What do you ‘run’ on

We’re starting off with you! Have you ever wondered why you say and do certain things – or don’t?

Why some people just rub you up the wrong way, treat you badly, or annoy you?

Communication is a pain point for many people. And even if you have your own communication down pat, you are at the mercy of other peoples’ communication style.

This session looks at the communication style(s) you default to and how that’s working for you. Pre-conditioning plays a part, as well as pre- prejudices.

So, what is your obstacle. Old voices in your head that hijack your ability to do what you want?

It would be a boring world if everyone were the same.  And, this may challenge you to look to yourself first (the only person you can actually affect for sure).

Essentially what you send out to the world in your words, tone, volume, and body language is how you convey what is acceptable communication. If you invited it in, you accepted it. You use it, choose it or enable it.

If you would like to be more assertive – but not at the expense of others then compassionate assertiveness may be for you. You may already be compassionately assertive………….just not have had a name for it – until now!


Growth opportunities for the human psyche

The average human communication default style is a complex (and often predictable) mix. Pre-conditioning and role models, ego, assumption, individual perception, words and body language.

The decisions you make along the way form the feelings you have about yourself -the choices you made. Did you walk away?  Suck it up? Take it away with you and keep it handy to mull over for several hours or days? Did you let it go and do nothing, only to have it repeated again soon after?

Here is the reality of communication – YOU either use it, choose it, or enable it…….and most people who are frustrated are enabling it!

It won’t go away if you don’t deal with it.

The good news? Communication starts, and ends – with you! The bad news……….

Let’s kick start the year with ways you can change up your communication skills




Corrective coach poor behaviour and take back your power

If you’ve ever felt undermined, overwhelmed, and frustrated because of the communication someone is handing out to you, you had a decision to make – right there, right then!

The decision you made would have added to the feelings you felt about yourself and the choices you ‘went with’. Did you walk away?  Suck it up? Take it away with you and keep it handy to mull over for several hours or days? Did you let it go and do nothing, only to have it repeated again soon after?

Here is the reality of communication – YOU either use it, choose it, or enable it…….and most people who are frustrated are enabling it! It won’t go away if you don’t deal with it. Communication starts, and ends – with you!

The average human communication default style is a complex (and often predictable) mix. Pre-conditioning and role models, ego, assumption, individual perception, words and body language. But, that doesn’t mean they get to ‘blurt’ and force their opinions or default style onto you without redress.

Learn how to minimise aggressive and in-direct communication towards you using compassionate assertiveness. Feel positive about creating a learning opportunity for the ‘offender’, and re-educate them on acceptable communication – towards you.

All communication is learned – so it can be unlearned.




Playing ‘nicely’ together in a corporate world

In an ideal world my work would be more about pro-active support to businesses and less about firefighting or being the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff!

Often workplaces leave it too late and re-active is their only option left. By that time, they have usually lost some (or all) of their best people, and only the toxic and disillusioned remain. These ‘remainders’ do not have ‘buy in’ to the business. They are waiting for payday. Getting by the best they can. Keeping their head down to avoid disappointing someone, being shouted at, or ridiculed.

And, what about the employees? Accountability. Contribution. Showing up and doing a great job everyday without bringing the hand luggage?

How do we create workplaces where people feel valued, and content – both managers and employees?

This session is a look at the two-way street that is the workplace. Every business has a tipping point of personality/communication styles. This balance creates the dynamics of a workplace. Each new person who arrives and leaves makes a difference. The real magic is in the creation and cultivation of transparency – a pivotal ingredient in harmonious workplaces. If you take away the ability for the in-direct (malicious) communication you open up your workplace to a whole new world.



PERSONAL ALCHEMY – Passive Communication

My passion and deep interest lies in the art of uncovering why certain people communicate in a certain type of way. I’ve spent almost eight years re-educating people with aggressive and passive-aggressive communication styles that it’s not clever, and people don’t like it! The people who bear the brunt of this are often the passives of the world.

This is a short, fun, uplifting talk with Steph Holloway, about what it means to be passive as a communicator, how it could be holding you back, and what you can do about it.

Does this sound like you?

Are you over being passive and playing it small?

Are you happy with your level of confidence?

Do you find yourself people pleasing – saying yes when you really mean no?

You indulge in ‘Tall Poppy syndrome’ – it is a REAL thing in NZ. It diminishes us as individuals, and as a country.

You avoid eye contact and your body language is ‘small’.

You think you need others approval before you do anything. You are seen as a ‘people pleaser’ and often the requests get more frequent and larger. In the workplace you often get given tasks that a more assertive person would question doing.

If the other person doesn’t agree with you, you are prepared to change YOUR mind.

You use ‘invisible’ communication such as: “If you have a moment” “Would it be possible” “I hate to be a bother, but could you” “I don’t like bringing it up, but I need to”.

You belittle yourself and talk yourself down. You are the king or queen of the ‘humble brag’ – “Yes, I won the award, but anyone could have done it. It’s no big deal really”. You use self-criticism – “I should have known I’d stuff that up, I always do”. Self -depreciate – “Could I be anymore needy?”

It’s easier than you think to change your communication style – get working on your personal alchemy. Ready?



PERSONAL ALCHEMY -The truth about anger

Ok, spoiler alert – here it is. Unless your life is in danger, or someone else’s there is never EVER a justifiable reason?

If you’d like to ditch the anger in your life in whatever form, and learn how to get results using your words, compassionate assertiveness, and body language instead, then this is for you.

You’ll uncover common triggers, how pre-conditioning played a part, and what it does to your body, values, and ethics once you succumb to the ‘red rage’.

Using real life examples, we’ll move you from self-indulgent to self-aware.



Conscious Communication – keeping it real in a crazy world

This is a hard look at how you connect with others through your communication in real time, face time, text and e-mail.


How you remain present in a busy, hard-wired world that does everything it can to minimise real human face to face communication – business, banking, shopping, socialising. You’re up against it every single day. Being pushed to outsource, resource, or minimise human interaction in the name of speed, convenience……but, at what cost?


If you’ve ever been mid-sentence and then suddenly become aware of what you sound like. Or you’ve been in a conversation which turned into an argument, and then realised you basically both had the same goals – but were conveying it differently, then this is for you.

If you have got into the habit of leaving things unsaid in the hope they will sort themselves out? How amazing would it be if we didn’t have to waste time on regretting things we’d said, or not said?

The basic premise of humanity is that you would/should treat others as you would wish to be treated. This session will give you a new perspective and insight into your communication with those around you, how you express yourself and what you invite in and send out to the world



He says, she says!

If you find yourself perplexed, bemused, frustrated (or a million other words) about the difference between men and women’s communication then walk this way.

This session answers some of the questions that men want to ask women……and vice versa. It also looks at the differences in body language and what that says. Bring along your own questions too, and let’s see what comes up!

So, what’s the problem? Men who can’t communicate. Women who over-communicate?

Somewhere in-between the lands of perceived indifference and twiddly bits lies a communication male/female nirvana. Communication that still seems logical to a man, and yet answers the questions for a woman.

A land where vulnerability is not a weakness, compassion is a gold medalist, and reason prevails.

This will be a light hearted, yet enlightening look at the ‘battle’ of the sexes. Bring your questions, bring men and women, bring your sense of humour, and be open-minded enough to see both sides.



PERSONAL ALCHEMY – Either say it, or STFU – anything else is passive aggressive!

It is estimated that around 3% of the adult NZ population have a personality disorder – they are a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath. On the edges, and interweaved with this 3% is the land of passive aggression, or more commonly in-direct communication.

These people are much more prevalent. They ingratiate themselves into your life with relative ease, and then stay for as long as YOU enable it.

‘Strong’ people realise quickly what is happening and either bif them out or address it. ‘Weaker’ people are either slower to ‘catch on’ or the ‘niceness’ in them goes along with it, even though it affects their everyday life.

Passive-aggressive people are the garden mulch of humanity. Where they prosper, nothing grows, everything stays hidden – it’s meant to. The people who really need to hear it either never do, or they hear it from someone else.

This is the person who always leaves you feeling worse when you leave than when you arrived. The office gossip or whinger. The back-stabber.

Passive aggressive behaviour works for them. They get attention. They are heard…….  But, by the WRONG people. This is malicious harassment in its purest form.

If you have a passive aggressive person in your life this is for you. There will be easy to master and remember verbal and non-verbal tips to help you instantly.

 If you are a passive aggressive person, then please come and get help. The hard news? No one wants you in their life as you are. You suck up their time, make them depressed, and anxious when they know they have to see you. You waste their life being underhanded and weak!

Either be bold and tell people what they need to hear in a compassionately assertive way or…….STFU!


You’ll notice there is now a currency converter on the site, as the Elemental Potential members and subscribers are from all over the world!




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