2 simple ways to change your life


Published: 9 Jan 2018

Compassionate Assertiveness


  1. Allowing time for contemplative thought
  2. Slowing down – everything

Seems too simple?

Seems like something an ‘old’ person would say?

Maybe you need to arrive at almost 60 years old to fully comprehend that?


Well? When was the last time you did either of those two things?

In a bigger, better, faster world, you are running on borrowed time much of your life. You cram in too much, stay a little too long, say yes when you should have said no, do too many things for others………did I hit a nerve yet?

Your brain is a complicated machine, and I’m no scientist, but I understand that these complex parts all have a job to do. Some are not negotiable jobs like auto responses such as breathing and other stuff that keeps you alive and walking about.

Others act as your bodyguard – literally. It is their job to protect and serve 24/7. To do this they send you alarm signals that you are supposed to notice and adjust your lifestyle. They have these magical chemicals that put you into fight or flight if you need some extra assistance to get out of danger or deal with something tricky. The problem arises when we stay in the fight or flight stage too long. Some people – who don’t do the two simple things above, are running in this mode almost indefinitely!

So how do you affect real change in your life?

Minimise those chemicals kicking in being self-inflicted. Slow down. Really appraise your lifestyle and be honest with yourself. And do the two things.

1. Allow time for contemplative thought. Don’t be afraid to do nothing, to consider the space between the thoughts.

Some people I talk to can’t even remember the last time they would have just sat, or laid down for a while and just set their mind free of stuff, of responsibilities, or mind chatter. It is my belief that the universe is conspiring non-stop to bring you the life you desire…….but some of us never switch off long enough to tap into that.

2. Slow down – EVERYTHING! Allowing more time for everything, changes everything.

When did it become a marker of success in life to squeeze in as much as you can into a day? Stay the longest? Start the earliest? Who decides that looks like success? Society, your competitors, your Nemisis?

Who taught you to be so passive? Saying yes when you really wanted to say no. Taking on responsibilities that CLEARLY aren’t yours. Over passive behaviour is rarely genetic, someone role modeled the shit out of that for you, taught you that was the polite, respectful way to live. So have a look at that persons’ life. Are they happy. Did they do what they wanted with their life?

Slowing down keeps you present and mindful. You notice more. Make better choices.

Slowing down reduces stress. Show up early and feel calm and composed.

Slowing down gives you more satisfaction and appreciation. Taking your time you see your accomplishments, which builds confidence and self-esteem.

Slowing down aids clearer communication. Drive-by communication, talking over people, waiting your turn to talk – communication does not take place under those conditions it becomes merely sounds!

Give it a go. See what happens.


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